Vindiction
by Opalalchemy
Summary: Sakura's reflection on her failures to stop Sasuke and Naruto with the curse seal and the Kyuubi.


Disclaimer- I do not own Naruto

Vindiction

Vindiction- The force or drive one has in doing an activity; the Urban dictionary

In the Forest of Death when Sasuke woke up with the curse seal flowing across his skin I was so scared for him. His actions weren't the same as the Sasuke-kun I knew. He was merciless and cruel to that sound ninja, I knew I had to stop him. I didn't even think about my own safety. I just ran up to him from behind and asked him to stop, begged him to stop. I was crying. Yet I was so happy when it was over. He stopped for me because I asked him to. I somehow knew that he would listen to me.

When I confronted Sasuke when he was abandoning Konoha, I thought I could stop him like I stopped him in the Forest. I truly believed he would listen to me and turn around, forget about Orochimaru. I thought in the back of my mind that Sasuke had attacked that sound ninja two months ago because he was angry I was hurt, not because the curse seal was acting on his hatred for his brother. I wanted to believe that Sasuke at least felt a strong friendship with me to react that way in the Forest. That was why I thought Sasuke would listen to me. I told him that I loved him, that I would do anything for him. I realized my words were in vain when I woke up on that cold, hard bench. I knew my bond with Sasuke would never be as strong as his bond with Naruto. I was not only a failure in my love for Sasuke, but also in our one sided friendship. Sasuke may have said thank you to me for the first time, but that didn't mean he meant it. I cried yet again for Sasuke, only this time they would not turn into tears of happiness. My heartache only increased when Naruto, too, failed to bring Sasuke back. That was when I promised Naruto and we would bring Sasuke back together.

Two and a half years later, when we were meeting Kabuto at the Tenchi Bridge, and Naruto transformed into the Four Tails, my only thoughts were to make Naruto stop. He wasn't acting like himself, the Kyuubi had turned him into a monster. I could only think about that happy boy I used to know, the one who never gave up, the one who had become this monster so he could get Sasuke-kun back. I thought of how much he had changed since we first became Team 7. How much I had come to respect and value him as my teammate. I clutched at my heart, it ached so much! Naruto was becoming a monster to get Sasuke back, just like how Sasuke uses the curse seal and Orochimaru to kill Itachi. I was crying yet again. I knew I had to stop him. I didn't even think about my own safety. I just ran up to him from behind and asked him to stop, begged him to stop. "I'll save Sasuke for you!" I wailed. I tried in vain to stop him. Unlike Sasuke, Naruto didn't stop. Unlike Sasuke, Naruto hurt me. My heart ached so much. I failed to stop Naruto, even when some part of me that I hadn't even acknowledged yet loved Naruto even more than Sasuke. When Naruto was back to normal and unconscious I had asked Yamato-taichou to teach me the jutsu that stopped Naruto, and I despaired silently in my heart when he said it was impossible for me to learn it. I couldn't stop Naruto like I stopped Sasuke with the curse seal, I could only do the dumbest of things for him. Just like I could only do the dumbest of things for Sasuke way back then. Yamato-taichou says it is my feelings, my vindiction that really count. I don't really believe him, but it made me feel better. When Naruto finally woke up and he asked me who had hurt me I briefly flashed back to Sasuke asking me the same question all those years ago. I shook the thought away. Naruto isn't like Sasuke, it wasn't his fault, he had no control of himself unlike Sasuke. Not wanting to worry him and plague him with guilt I told him it was Orochimaru who hurt me. In a way it was true, Naruto only became a monster because Orochimaru egged him on about Sasuke.

When I finally saw Sasuke again after so long I didn't know what I was feeling. My heart ached for him still, but in a different way. Yes, it was still love, but what kind of love? I was brimming with happiness and awe when he said my name, with such masculinity. But the moment Naruto entered the crater I was all but forgotten by Sasuke. That was when I finally accepted that there really wasn't that much between us, not like him and Naruto. But Naruto's hope for Sasuke gave me hope, that perhaps someday, even if it was not that day, I would have both of the boys I loved with all my heart with me. I could only pray that my hope didn't stay ad distant dream. I'm not as strong as Naruto. Even though we said we would bring Sasuke-kun back together I knew that Naruto, only Naruto would be able to bring Sasuke-kun back. I can only do the stupidest things for the two of them. Maybe that's why Sasuke always ignores me.

* * *

I wrote this oneshot with the idea in the back of my mind that if Sasuke ever came back it would be Sakura who he would get together with. Sakura's feelings are confusing. She doesn't know what she feels for who.


End file.
